Chapter 5: Tea With Amil

Tea With Amil

Even before opening her eyes, Debbie was aware of something moving in front of her. Her mind raced. Where exactly was she? She was obviously lying down on something soft, with a pillow propped behind her head but she had no idea how she got there. Finally, and with a little trepidation, Debbie tentatively opened her eyes. She was in a small dark room, lit only by a small light coming in from the next room. The door was propped open, and swayed slightly. Someone had just left. Debbie propped herself up and realized she was on a small couch. She peered around the room, which was small but cozy, obviously in someone’s home. Her TagCam had been placed carefully on an end table. Debbie slid into a sitting position and rubbed her head. She still couldn’t remember how she’d ended up here. She remembered getting off the plane in Kuwait City, and the long ride on the desert road. Was this her driver’s house? Now she remembered the hole in the fence, and the fear she’d felt in the darkness. She reached for her TagCam. It should have some answers. Debbie hit the power button, and flicked her finger across the touchscreen. She displayed the last picture. It all came back to her. Just like she had the first time she’d seen it, she couldn’t help but scream.

Someone burst into the room, summoned by her voice. Debbie managed to tear her eyes away from the image in front of her to examine the man that had entered. He was tiny and ancient; Debbie guessed he had to be at least 90. He wore a robe and house slippers, and his white hair went in all directions and seemed to come from every single hole in his head. It was hard to tell where hair and beard ended, and nose and ear hairs began. The man was holding a tray with 2 mugs on it. Their eyes met, then he nodded at the TagCam’s screen.

“I see you met Clifford.” he said. Debbie’s eyes went back to her screen. A 3 headed dog sneered back at her, his fangs dripping with slobber. His 6 eyes were angry, his fur bright red. Debbie flicked the camera off. She returned her attention to her host, unsure of what to say.

“Clifford?!” she managed to utter, breathless. It was a start anyway. The old man set the tray down in front of her and pointed to it.

“I brought you tea.” he said.

“Um, thanks.” Debbie replied “But uh, where exactly am I? Who are you? And... CLIFFORD?!”

“Pardon my manners! It’s been so long since I’ve had a visitor!” the man grabbed the second mug of tea and moved to a chair across from the couch. “My name is Amil. Amil Hefferscheffer."

“You’re the one I was coming here to see!” she said, remembering her conversation with Jessie. “I’m Debbie Cook, with the LA Times.” Hefferscheffer fidgeted in his seat.

“Press... No press... it’s why I came. No people... no press.... alone... came to be alone...” Somewhere in there he’d simply started muttering to himself. Debbie waved to remind him she was still there.

“Relax,” she said “I’m not a reporter. Just a photographer. I’m doing a project on Freedomland but got a tip that I could find you here. You created The World. I just wanted your picture. Can we get back to Clifford please?”

“That park... they should’ve stayed away. Came to be alone! Dangerous! Deus ex machina. End of the world.” Debbie watched the poor old man mutter and felt sorry for him. He’d seemed pretty sane when he first showed up with the tea, but he obviously wasn’t used to visitors. She quietly spun the TagCam around, switched it to video mode, and focused on Hefferscheffer.

“Clifford.” she repeated. “How can something like that exist?” Hefferscheffer stopped muttering, looked at her, and seemed surprised that she was still there.

“Harmless.” he said. “A pet. A guard. This place isn’t safe.”

“Why not?” Debbie asked.
“Allah Engine. Zeus Device. The unreal is real. I was there from the beginning. Created the world, destroy the world.” Debbie sighed. She was losing him again.

“The World. You created it right? Virtual reality. It’s a game, not real.”

“Reality...” Hefferscheffer scoffed “What is reality? A storybook, a movie, a game. I created The World. Am I the Alpha? Am I the Omega?”

“The World isn’t real.” Debbie replied. “You’re in the real world now. You’re just another person here.”

“If only I were.” Hefferscheffer replied. He stood up. “Clifford protects me. I am his father. The Father. But my mind... it wanders. Things happen here. Life where there should not be. Somehow it stayed with me. I made The World, and it stayed with me. I need to be alone. Danger to everyone. Isolation is the way. You need to leave.”

“I didn’t mean to disturb you. I must’ve passed out when I saw... Clifford. Thank you for bringing me in.”

“Helpful, courteous. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Show you the door. Abandon hope, all ye who enter.”

Debbie stood up, careful to keep the camera pointed at the crazy old man. His insane ramblings sent a chill up her spine, and she was more than happy to leave.

“If you could just direct me to the road, my driver should be waiting for me.” Hopefully, she thought. She wasn’t sure how long she’d been unconscious, but Shir seemed pretty committed to his job. She doubted he’d leave her out here. As long as he hadn’t tried to follow her and run into Clifford. She gulped at the thought.

“Show you the door. Apologies. Rude host... I’m a very rude host. Will show you to the road, but you must leave. For your own good.” Hefferscheffer shuffled to the corner of the room, and came back with Debbie’s shoes. He offered them to her.

“It’s ok.” Debbie said, taking her shoes. “You’ve been very kind.” She put on her shoes and followed Hefferscheffer into the hallway. He opened the front door, and shined a flashlight into the darkness. Then it was his turn to scream.

“NO NO NO!!! You brought them here! It’s over! A pale horse!” Hefferscheffer turned and fled back into the house. Debbie switched the on her TagCam’s light and looked outside. Once again, she was met with the sight of Clifford the big red 3 headed dog. He was lying a few feet from the front door. Each of his heads had a large hole in it. Blood and brains surrounded him. Debbie slammed the door shut. Unlike most of her siblings, Debbie wouldn’t be acquiring an animal sidekick today.

Inside the cabin, the old man was suddenly manic. He sprinted to the closet, yanked it open, and began rummaging around. Debbie watched him for a few seconds as he tossed random things from the closet over his shoulder. She needed the time to gather her words, to ask just the right questions. Finally, she gave it a go.

"Who?" she asked. "Why?"

"Very simple..." Hefferscheffer muttered, not looking up from his frantic digging "Just have to follow the rules... Leave me alone if I follow the rules... I tried... I put no other Amils before me... It's over now... they're here...God is dead..." Debbie nodded.

"That didn't answer any of my questions but DID make you sound pretty crazy. Thanks for that." Debbie walked over to the window and peered out into the darkness. Something or someone had just taken out a big 3 headed dog a few feet from the front door, but it looked perfectly peaceful and serene in the dark night. She squinted, trying to get her eyes to adjust. She thought maybe she saw something move in the distance, and practically pressed her face up against the glass trying to make it out. Suddenly, Hefferscheffer sprang from his position in front of the closet with surpising speed, knocking her to the floor.

"Away from the windows!" he seethed. "What're you, crazy?!" He rolled off of her and crawled back to the closet, again pulling off crazy moves for someone his age. Debbie pulled herself into a sitting position against the wall.

"Did you just accuse me of being crazy?" she asked. The doctor was already busy with his digging though. She snapped a few shots of him hunched over, slinging random things into a growing pile in the room. Finally, he straightened up.

"Aha!" he yelped excitedly. He shoved something into his pockets and turned to face her. For the first time, he locked eyes with Debbie directly. She stared into the old man's eyes, and the fear she had felt at the sight of Clifford's corpse grew. The ancient eyes, wide with panic and fear, betrayed one terrifying fact: Dr. Amil Hefferscheffer was perfectly sane. "Good... you've got your camera out." he said "Hang onto it. Things are about to get a little weird."

"Oh, thanks for the warning." Debbie replied. Her grip on the TagCam tightened. "Doctor... WHO is out there?"

"My babysitters." Hefferscheffer replied, moving carefully toward the window. He stood to the side of it and chanced a quick peek. "They keep me out of trouble... leave me alone if I follow the rules..."

"Rules?" Debbie asked.

"Rule number one... no visitors." he replied.

"Who are your babysitters? Some government group?" Debbie remembered that Jessie had said something about The World being linked to the US Government, despite Dr. Hefferscheffer being well known as the sole creator of it. "Their first instinct when someone wanders along is to start killing dogs? And about that 3 headed dog..."

"They never liked Clifford..." Hefferscheffer replied "Scared them... showed them they weren't masters of this world... things that can't exist do here... things that shouldn't be are. Because of me, you see? Now they can't let either of us leave. In the shadows... Just waiting for the order to strike."

"You have a plan to survive this?" Debbie asked, afraid of the answer. Hefferscheffer clutched his pocket. He looked at her one more time, a smile creasing his wrinkled face.

"Survive? No one can survive the end of the world." Debbie nodded. Crazy riddle-speak was indeed the answer she'd been afraid of.

"Yeah, that's what I figured. I think I might have one though. Are you, like, totally committed to dying tonight, or do you wanna give it a whirl?"

"Lucky to have made it this far..." the old man stared into the distance "If everyone's the beginning and the end, no one is... I knew the risks... I knew the rules... Omnipotent once... impotent at the end. I welcome what's next." Debbie sighed. Hefferscheffer really seemed ready to accept death. She looked up at him, and his face clouded. The wistful gaze had been replaced by steely resolve. "Then again..." He reached his hand into his pocket, feeling the object he'd unearthed from the closet. His fists tightened. "Then again, they did kill my dog." Debbie nodded, and rose to her feet.

"Turn off the lights." she said, looking over the room. "How much time you think we have?"

"Minutes, seconds, hours, days, weeks... what is time but the-"

"Sorry I asked. Please, just turn off the lights. And Doctor? Things are about to get a little weird."

"Base, this is Shue 6. We're in position. Awaiting strike order."

"Shue 6, Base. Copy that. Stand by for strike order."

"Base, Shue 6. Copy. Standing by for strike order. Shue 6 out. Shue 7, this is Shue 6."

"Go ahead Shue 6."

"Standing by for strike order from base, over."

"Roger, Shue 6."

"Shue 6 out."

"Shue 1, this is Shue 7, over."

"Shue 7, Shue 1."

"Copy last transmission, over?"

"Roger that Shue 7, awaiting strike order."

"Shue 7 out. Shue 2, this is Shue 7."

"Shue 7, 2."

"Roger Shue 2. Copy last?"

"Shue 2 Roger."

"Shue 7 out. Shue 3, Shue 7."

"Roger Shue 7."

"Shue 6, this is Base. Come in Shue 6."

"Base, Shue 6."

"Conduct radio check with squad, over."

"Loud and clear, Base."

"Base out."

"Shue 7, Shue 6. Radio check, respond in sequence over."

"Shue 6, this is Shue 7. Affirmative on the radio check, over."

"Shue 6 out."

"Shues 1 through 5, radio check, respond in sequence, over."

"Shue 1, loud and clear."

"Shue 2, got you lima charlie."

"Shue 3, roger."

"Shue 4, lickin' chicken."

"Shue 5.... shit- the lights just went out! Repeat, all the lights on the premises went out."

"Shue 6, Shue 7. Copy last from Shue 5?"

"Roger Shue 7. Base, this is Shue 6."

"Shoe 6, Base. Please maintain proper radio check protocol."

"Base, Shue 6. Repeat: premises has gone dark. They know we're here. Request permission to strike now."

"Shue 6, Base. Strike order will not be granted until all elements perform radio check. We've only got an affirmative on one through four."

"Base, Shue 6. Shue 5 called in lights out. Radio obviously functioning properly. Repeat... subjects aware of our presence."

"Shue 6, Base. COPY THAT. Strike order WILL be granted after proper radio check with squad. Copy?!"

"Base, this is Shue 6... copy that. Shue 7, Shue 6."

"Shue 6, this is Base."

"Shue 6, this is Shue 7."

"Base, Shue 6."

"Shue 6? This is Shue 7. You read me?"

"Shue 6, this is Base... instruct all elements to activate night vision sensors."

"SHUE 6, THIS IS SHUE 7. DO YOU READ?"

"SHUE 7, YES GOD DAMMIT! I'M TRYING TO TALK TO BASE! BASE, SHUE 6. ALL ELEMENTS HAVE NIGHT VISION ACTIVATED. IT IS VERY DARK OUT HERE BASE."

"Shue 6, Base. Affirmative on night vision activation. Please verify status of night vision during subsequent radio check. Base out."

"Piece of..." "Son of a..." "and turn it sideways..." "in the ear..."

"Shue 6, Base... repeat last transmission, over."

"Nothing Base. SHUE 6 OUT! ALL SHUE ELEMENTS NIGHT VISION STATUS AND RADIO CHECK GO!"

"Shue 1, Night vision go, radio go."

"Shue 2, green on night vision, loud and clear."

"Uhh... Shue 6, this is Shue 7."

"....and radio is a go."

"DAMMIT SEVEN! WHAT?!"

"....this is Shue 4..."

"Shue 6, Shue 7. Proper radio procedure dictates that-"

"with a monkey..." "3 times a day..." "in the back of a Volkwagon..."

"Shue 5?"

"Shue 6, Base."

"What..."

"Strike order granted. Move in now!"

"while wearing a clown wig..."

"Shue 6?"

"COPY BASE. All units, Shue 6. Strike order granted. Move in!"

"Shue 6, this is Shue 5... I think my batteries are dead. Anyone? Shue 5 here..."

It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now Debbie wasn't so sure it could work. They'd had to rearrange things a bit, shoving the couch and most of the furniture to one side of the room. On the opposite end of the room, she crouched in a small space behind a white sheet along with Dr. Hefferscheffer. The whole time they were setting up, she was sure Clifford's killers would burst in at any moment. Fortunately they seemed to be taking their time. She looked at the old man, who got her glance and grinned widely, looking crazier than ever. This was clearly an adventure to him.

The silence was shattered as the front door came crashing down. A moment later, something smashed through the window, filling the room with a bright flash that would've dazed them if they hadn't been cowering behind a sheet. Debbie tapped the tiny remote in her hand. TagCam was about to be put through its most rigorous test yet.

"MOVE MOVE MOVE!"

"ROOM CLEAR!"

"HOLD! 3, 4, 5... NEXT ROOM!"

"MOVING!"

"WHERE THE HELL IS FIVE?! DAMMIT, TWO! NEXT ROOM!" Another door smashed, and a few seconds later another cry of "CLEAR!"

"FIND THEM!" Sounds of furniture being thrown around. Someone ripped open the closet. They kicked the couch across the room. No one thought to look behind the large white sheet hanging on the opposite wall. Debbie smiled. It was actually working.

"THERE'S NO WAY THEY ESCAPED! TURN THIS PLACE UPSIDE DOWN!"

The smashing and stomping continued, with the voices growing angrier and more desperate as time passed. After a few minutes, it died down. The men were just standing around.

"Place is clear."

"Think they got Five?"

"No one got Five! They're in here somewhere!"

"DAMMIT!"

One of them fired his gun in frustration, and the bullets whizzed about a foot over Debbie's head. She gulped as everything in the room was dead silent for a second.

"What the hell..."

"Look at the wall..."

1 man's booted footsteps slowly approached the sheet. Above Debbie's head, a gloved finger poked through a bullet hole. Then a fist gently tested the sheet, which swayed under its pressure.

"What in the..."

The man standing in front of Debbie ripped at the sheet, revealing her hiding spot. She tapped her remote once more, and suddenly the TagCam, which had been projecting a 3D image of half an empty room onto the sheet, suddenly changed its display. Now a hulking image of a snarling Clifford stared down the men.

"I THOUGHT WE KILLED THAT THING!"

"OPEN FIRE!"

Debbie grabbed Hefferscheffer and dove to the ground as the soldiers all opened fire. She tapped the remote again and the image of Clifford started moving randomly across the room.

"IT'S COMING FOR ME!!"

"BULLETS AREN'T EVEN SLOWING IT DOWN!"

Debbie started crawling for the front door amidst the chaos, with Dr. Hefferscheffer a half step behind. Bullets whizzed in every direction, which wasn't exactly the outcome of a perfect plan, but with luck she thought they might make it out unscathed. She bumped into a soldier's leg, and looked up just in time to see him riddled with bullets from one of his panicked squad members. Hefferscheffer was right, Clifford really did scare them! They were practically to the door when the tiny TagCam remote in Debbie's clenched fist decided that she'd asked it to start cycling through pictures. The menacing beast charging in all directions suddenly became a tiny squirrel. Then a puppy. Then a turtle. Then two ducklings who looked like they were kissing. Then another puppy.

"IT'S A TRICK!" a soldier barked "CEASE FIRE! CEASE FIRE! IT'S A PROJECTION!" The shooting stopped, and what was once chaos was suddenly a quiet smoky room filled with bullets, a dead soldier on the ground, and 5 more staring at Debbie. So close. The closest one grabbed her by the hair and yanked her from the floor. He gave Hefferscheffer a boot to the back for good measure, and the old man crumpled to the ground in a heap. Various 3D animals floated around uselessly.

"It's some sort of fancy projector." One of the men said, grabbing the TagCam. The one who'd told them to stop firing, obviously the leader, took it from him.

"This yours?" he asked Debbie, still restrained. He watched the pictures appear and disappear at his feet. A kitten in a basket. A grinning camel. A Koala with its baby on its back. "You sure do have a lot of pictures of animals." Another soldier bent over and yanked Dr. Hefferscheffer to his feet. The old man was gasping and wheezing for air. The leader stepped up to him.

"Been waiting for this night a long time, old man. Who's the girl?" The old man could only gasp and sputter. "Doesn't matter... thanks to her, one of my men is dead." He turned to face Debbie.

"You don't even know who you're dealing with, do you?" he asked. "You don't just come waltzing in here. People notice. People you don't want to be noticed by. No amount of silly little projector tricks are gonna get you out of this one."

"It's not a projector." Debbie replied. "It's a camera."

"Oh excuse me! Remind me though... why should I care?"

"Because when you threw the flashbang in here, I had it recording." Debbie squeezed her eyes shut as tight as she could and tapped the remote. A blinding light filled the room and the soldiers, each with perfectly functioning night vision, freaked out and started ripping at their headsets. Suddenly free from the man holding her, Debbie grabbed the TagCam with one hand and Dr. Hefferscheffer's arm with the other. They were out the door not a second later.

"Which way to the road?!" Debbie demanded, supporting Dr. Hefferscheffer, who seemed to have trouble walking. He mumbled and pointed to the right, so she shuffled as quickly as she could in that direction.

"Stop..." he muttered faintly.

"Can't! They'll be right behind us!"

"No... leave me..." Debbie shook her head and pushed on, but suddenly Hefferscheffer's grip on her arm tightened. She stopped. "Dead soon anyway... you'll make it without me..."

"I can't just..."

"FREEZE!" a soldier leapt out from behind a tree in front of them, his rifle up. "6, this is 5. I've got two suspects at gunpoint. 6? 7? Base? Anyone?"

"Go..." Hefferscheffer muttered once more. "I'll make my final stand... moment of redemption... die for my own sins... Take this..." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wooden box, which he shoved into Debbie's hand. "Can't be a secret anymore... End of the world... Apocalypse soon...." The soldier was approaching them cautiously, gun still pointed.

"Umm... what are you planning on doing?" Debbie asked nervously. The old man smiled.

"Still don't believe... I was god once... you should believe... still have... a little juice left..." Hefferscheffer placed a reassuring hand on Debbie's arm, then shifted to stand without her support. "Might want to... step back a little..."

"STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE!" ordered the soldier. Hefferscheffer straightened up completely, and stood rigid. A breeze picked up, sending his wild white hair in every direction. Debbie noticed she could see him perfectly despite the dark, and realized that he seemed to be glowing. The breeze turned into a wind, whipping around the three of them. Debbie took a step back. The soldier leveled his gun at Hefferscheffer's head. The wind grew. Thunder clapped in the distance. Hefferscheffer turned his head and smiled at Debbie.

"I was the Creator... that sticks with you..." he turned back to the soldier. "May not be god anymore..." Thunder boomed overhead "Just old man... with a lot of wrath." A blinding flash of lightning cracked right in front of them, frying the soldier. He slumped to the ground in a charred heap. The old man turned around to face his cabin, what had been his home, where the soldiers inside were starting to recover. He lifted his hands and the ground cracked in front of him. All around the cabin, the ground tore into shards. Earth swayed and shifted, engulfing the small cabin. It slid into a fault, and was soon buried under rock and dirt. Hefferscheffer relaxed, and immediately stopped glowing. Debbie caught him before he fell to the ground.

"You... umm..." she didn't know what to say "You could've told me you could do that before!"

"Didn't think... Still had it in me... haven't tried anything in years..." Again, Debbie had countless questions, and again, she struggled to articulate them.

"How?" she asked "Why?" The old man smiled and reached out to tap the wooden box he had given her.

"Take it... Land of the Free..."

"Take it to America?" Debbie asked. Hefferscheffer shook his head.

"Closer." he said. Then he died in her arms. Debbie laid him gently on the ground, and looked at the destruction around her. In a daze, she stumbled through the darkness in the direction of the road. After a few minutes of walking, she froze. A man stood alone in front of her. He was clearly looking for someone. She called up the flashbang video on the TagCam, but knew she wasn't up for another fight in her current state. Her only hope was that he wouldn't notice her. The man took a few steps in her direction and froze. Dismay filled her, she'd clearly been spotted. Finally, the man spoke.

"Ms. Debbie?! Ms. Debbie is that you?!"

"SHIR!" Debbie ran to her driver and embraced him.

"My apologies, Ms. Debbie. I tried to come looking for you but could not get through the fence. Then I saw lightning storm, and felt the earth move. Then I saw hole in fence. I swear it was not there before..."

"I believe you." Debbie said. "Let's get out of here."

A few minutes later, and Debbie was back in the rear seat of the cab. It felt like she hadn't been there in months; it felt like home to her. Shir climbed into the driver's seat.

"Shall I take you back to the hotel, Ms. Debbie?" She shook her head.

"No, Shir..." The sun was starting to come up now, the horizon glowed with a faint red light. "I think it's time we go where I was supposed to go in the first place.

"Freedomland?" Shir asked. "Now?" Debbie nodded.

"Freedomland. Now." She said. Shir started the car and they were on their way. Debbie set the TagCam aside, thinking briefly about all the wonderful things she had to say about it in her review, and examined the little wooden box Dr. Hefferscheffer had given her in his last minutes on earth. It was small and plain. Unpainted, unfinished wood with a small clasp on the front. She undid the clasp. In the distance, a giant Statue of Liberty jutted into the desert sky atop the world's largest roller coaster. Debbie opened the box.

Things were about to get a little weird.

"Shue 6, this is Base, come in Shue 6. Any Shue element, come in. Repeat, ANY Shue element, report! Over!"

A few miles away, in a secret underground bunker, underneath the world's tallest rollercoaster, a very angry radio operator slammed down his headset.

"Someone really needs to talk to these guys about conducting the proper radio checks!"